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Away Messages
A page dedicated to funny away messages I have seen online. I only add away messages when I see them being used. I included the names of the user that gets credit for the away message. Log In to see the credits.


Lets talk about left and right your right i left
I wanted to change my screen name to "%s" but somebody took it already... it's amazing what names people will come up with.
I'm not here. However, if you would like to be transfered to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality:
- If U R obsessive compulsive, press "1" repeatedly.
- If U have multiple personalitites, press "2", "3", "4", and "5".
-If U R paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Stay online while we trace your call.
-If U R schizo, The little voice will tell you what number to press.
-If U R manic depressive, don't bother, no one will answer you anyways.

and hence, the questions arises... why leave an away message up, when you never receive any messages? .... ponder that for a moment
Leave a message or my gremlins will get you
im out faster than a redneck in a spelling bee
If this message is here, I probably am not.
Life is tough, It takes up a lot of your time, all your weekends, and what do you get at the end of it? ...Death, a great reward... I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it ot of the way. Then you should live 20 years in an old-age home. You get kicked out when your too young. you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You go to college, you party until your ready for high school, you become a little kid, you play, you have no responsabilities, you become a little boy or girl, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating. And you finish off in the gleam of someone's eye
HIJKLMNO....no I'm not receiting my alphabet, I'm defining water in it's chemical form......well.....it's HtoO isn't it?
dont act like you didnt see that yellow pad next to my name
{your name}'s mood meter: :-)
sorrie, jus missed me...i went dat a way ---------->
I sold this space to Rellims.com. Speaking of which, Rellims.com is one of the most well designed, innovative and fun sites on the web! Kudos to the webmaster!

Now Mr. Webmaster... let's discuss my payment...
|----^|
Things {your name} has to do:
1) take a shower
2) eat one of those huge waffles
3) solve some differential equations
4) figure out what the heck is going on in quantum chem
5) look at some pretty structures for solid state chem
6) do some research on titanium oxides and set up an experiment
7) practice some taekwondo
8) watch a movie
9) worry about my future
10) think about trying for med school
11) go to sleep and dream of success

Out having lunch, meet me there!
Hey {their sn}, your village called, they want their missing idiot back.
{their sn}: hi
{your sn}: {your sn} is sleeping.
{their sn}: YO, WAKE UP ! GET UP FROM BED
{your sn}: Please lower your voice and let {your sn} sleep.
{their sn}: WAKE UP !! WAKE UP !!
User {their sn} has been blocked.
Don't follow {their sn} example. I'm sleeping.
Sleep is actually a good substitute for coffee.
i am wasting good time cramming for a final after which i can get back to what is REALLY important
I am just putting this away message because everyone else is doing it.
Previous message was not received by {your sn} because of error: User {your sn} is not available.
This space for rent.
I not here...what kinda of loser is online at {current time}
If I'm not idle, then I am not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. In that case shun me and castigate me
All i wanna do is to thank you even though i dont know who you are. You let me change lanes while i was driving in my car. Whoever you are. im out driving leave me a message
I am away so buddy "smarterchild" is currently taking my messages...IM him
Work fascinates me, I can look at it for hours!
Give me one reason to stay here, and I'll turn right back around.......
I am sleeping right now, so when I return from class I'll get back to you.


Submit your own funny away message
If you feel your away message(s) deserve to be recognized here, please IM me at "iSteve530" or email me at Web Email. Keep in mind that your away messages cannot be quotes or just random information, they have to do something with the fact that you are away from your computer.

Additional Away Messages


This page is maintained by the rellims.com webmaster.  The content on this page does not represent by beliefs nor my attitudes.  My apologies to those that may be offended by my page, even though this was NOT intended. Note pad idea taken from Tjshome.com with permission.